Speak!

Tonight I admonished my dear PTT.

"It begins with the adult!" I say.  "The adult must always make the first move with the child. That's just how it works!" You say you're not going to say you are sorry for something that isn't your fault. Indeed! I agree. You must come from your own personal truth. Say that you are sorry for that which you are indeed sorry for... -perhaps you are sorry it has come to this. Perhaps you are sorry that so much time has gone by and you are missing your dear son."

"It doesn't matter, so much as its delivered with an air of kindness, openness, truthfulness, humility. It must be your own genuine truth. Speak from your authentic, loving self. You have nothing to loose."

"And you must listen. And not react."

To myself I think that he must be the "grow-up", the loving parent that Brooks is yearning for, -a yearning that's been disguised as "hostility" and "abandonment". I desperately want PTT to understand that -"It takes an adult to see this particular truth and it takes an adult to offer up tenderness as healing."

I want him to really see himself, to have a powerful "aha!" moment. I want him to understand that it takes a lot of courage, real courage to step into the sagely role of an "adult" especially when the child who needs you to take the role is counting on you."

"It takes intentional action, backed by clarity of mind and the absolute conviction that what you want is worth the courage it takes. If having a loving, open and honest relationship with your son Brooks is worth it to you, then step up! This ain't the time to hide behind contemplation, or any other unnecessary stalling technique."

"Adults take action out of loving insight and true wisdom. They do what's right! That's the evolutionary path of a human being.
'

I left the room and I've arrived here. Breathing. Writing. Trusting. Breathing.