Longing for peace

I feel resentful that I came home at 4:30 in the afternoon yesterday to find PTT full-on drunk. I feel resentful that I'm presently up at 5:30 and he has gottan up too and immediately launches into a loud complaint about how much he hated the movie we watched last night, -the movie that he slept through good chunks of. And now he is playing a loud news clip on his computer and what I wanted was to get up and have some quiet time to reflect and plan my day with some peace.

Sigh. What to do?

I continue to tell myself I need to be accepting. Loving. Supportive. But I hate coming home to a drunk. I hate the grandiosity, the exaggerated take on his day's events (the most amazing ground beef). I hate having to retell the news of my day over and over. I hate that there is no one to talk with or talk things through. I hate how boring drunks are.I hate that AGT was having a significant event in her life and PTT was drunk and unavailable for emotional support to her or to myself.

I hate that if I complain it will be a big angry fight or scene.

I long for a peaceful, loving, adult house free of delusion and lies. I feel disdainful.