Do I endure or do I practice acceptance and find true peace?

Am I cruel? Am I a bully? That's how PTT is characterizing me. I hate it when I come home and he's drunk. I hate it when he gets sloshy drunk. Why?

Because he's not attractive, because his lovey dovey behavior is dis-ingenuous. Because drunks are egocentric and boring because they can't listen. Because I want to be able to talk to him, plan with him, get shit done. I want to be heard. I want authentic connection. I want to feel adored, cared about, loved. I want him to like me, be interested in me. He says he is. Why do I constantly yearn for more? Am I co-dependent? Do i suffer from wanting more? Wait... I am codependent! I too am an addict. I'm the one who is all of the things I blame PTT for.

He has ADHD. He is an alcoholic. Of course he can not give me the emotional support and care that I want or need. Make peace with it dear woman.

I'm worried that it is just like PTT says, that's I'm perpetually discontented, perpetually sad.

I do feel chronically discontent with him as a partner. I do feel chronically sad by the lack of emotional connection, the lack of attention to taking care of what needs to get done, to the lack of care about my emotional needs. I feel perpetually lonely.

So... is that about PTT or is that about me? Do I want to move? Not really. What can I do, what can I truly do to make peace with our living situation as it is? Let go of my disapproval, let go of my desire for him as a loving mate. Let him go. Make peace with life AS IT IS. Isn't that at the heart of my Buddhist understanding? And yet, at the same time, didn't I just read a passage in the book by Pema Chodron about not having to endure? Is that what I'm proposing to myself? To endure? Or is the truth as simple as changing the way you look at things... is it as simple as changing one's perspective from endure to peace through acceptance? Do I really suffer, except  for the loneliness? Except for the yearning I have to be deeply loved? Can I work on just simply addressing my own issues? Can I work on loving myself, loving god? Will that be enough?