Go!

I have a sense of playing hide and go seek with myself. Here. Here, but not here. Observing. Obsessed with food. Obsessed with process. What have I decided? What will I do? Am I just waiting for a fight? Am I riding out the days, hoping for the best? Am I wise to consider the future that may not include steady income? I gravitate toward that explanation of why. What am I looking out on? What am I planning to become? If I can indeed, as I am convinced that I believe- if I can change the way my brain is wired, how, then do I want to rewire it? To be at peace with things as they are. To stop eating neurotically. To eat joyfully and with gusto those foods which fill by body with nourishment. To practice meditation consistently. To exercise my body happily. To get out and play regularly... OUT and play. With the dogs. Regularly. Daily. To CREATE. WRite. Color it with COLOR.... yarn, paint, sculpture.  I need routine. I need routine. I need and want routine.

So, dear woman: what the heck is going on? Get out of your own way and step into the life you wish to have. Plan meals. Sleep well. Play. Be kind. Stop worrying. Save some money. Watch fear. Practice meditation. Learn to be a yogi. Walk inside. Walk outside. Climb hills. Play with dogs. Stop eating garbage. i beg of you dear one. Dear girl. Stop this harmful life. Stop it at once. You now have all the tools you need. You know what to do. Go!